I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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