Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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