Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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