Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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(407): I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes http://tfl.nu/atny

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(512): View more from Texas

The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

(319): View more from Iowa

Yes. For all mankind please do.

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(512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly

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(989): View more from Michigan

News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.

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(989): News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus. (1-989): Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right. http://tfl.nu/jho0

Replies (22) Good night (4432) Bad night (852)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cherish every text you send me

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(410): I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland (412): I cherish every text you send me http://tfl.nu/05mc

Replies (49) Good night (5998) Bad night (604)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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(603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x

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(260): View more from Indiana

i just snorted my name. best moment ever

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(260): i just snorted my name. best moment ever http://tfl.nu/gtkr

Replies (44) Good night (2410) Bad night (2974) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé

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(847): you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé http://tfl.nu/voe0

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(919): View more from North Carolina

every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends

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(919): every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends http://tfl.nu/8jwh

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(260): View more from Indiana

I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.

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(260): I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box. http://tfl.nu/twf4

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(860): View more from Connecticut

This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.

(802): View more from Vermont

So basically you were a dog.

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(860): This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground. (802): So basically you were a dog. http://tfl.nu/0n1s

Replies (14) Good night (8039) Bad night (756)
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(850): View more from Florida

Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.

(1-850): View more from Florida

Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.

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(850): Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians. (1-850): Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue. http://tfl.nu/hc5m

Replies (10) Good night (3011) Bad night (491)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!

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(780): YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!! http://tfl.nu/6lp0

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(404): View more from Georgia

If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"

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(404): If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy" http://tfl.nu/w6q2

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(702): View more from Nevada

there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...

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(702): there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya... http://tfl.nu/edke

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(480): View more from Arizona

Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.

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(480): Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god. http://tfl.nu/3e8t

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