have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
