Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
