The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
