i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
