Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize