What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
