Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
