Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
