We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He passed out mid-signature
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
