we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
