I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
