Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
