Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All I want is dick and wine.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
