So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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