Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Alive.
So much puke
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize