Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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