I'm drive I can fine osifer
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
