I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
