One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
