have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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