Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
