So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize