I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
