I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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