cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
