if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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