im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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