wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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