I'm really into asian looking animals
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
