With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
