Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
