I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
