If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
