How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
