Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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