I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
