well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
