THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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