I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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