I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
