What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
