A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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