chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
