help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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