just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
