We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
