girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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