KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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