I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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