I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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