your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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