I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
