I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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