He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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