I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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