We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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