I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
