There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
