you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
