when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
