look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He better not be in your backpack
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
